英语长篇幽默笑话
Dear white, something you got to know親愛的白種人，有幾件事你必須知道。
When I was born, I was black.
當我出生時，我是黑色的
When I grow up, I am black.
我長大了，我是黑色的
When I'm under the sun, I'm black.
我在陽光下，我是黑色的
When I'm cold, I'm black.
我寒冷時，我是黑色的
When I'm afraid, I'm black.
我害怕時，我是黑色的
When I'm sick, I'm black.
我生病了，我是黑色的
When I die, I'm still black.
當我死了，我仍是黑色的。
you---white people,
你---白種人
When you were born, you were pink.
當你出生時，你是粉紅色的
When you grow up, you become white.
你長大了，變成白色的
You're red under the sun.
你在陽光下，你是紅色的
You're blue when you're cold.
你寒冷時，你是青色的
You are yellow when you're afraid.
你害怕時，你是黃色的
You're green when you're sick.
你生病時，你是綠色的
You're gray when you die.
當你死時，你是灰色的
And you, call me "color"?
而你，卻叫我「有色人種」？
Bedtime Prayers
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."
Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"
And Julie replied, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"
睡前祷告词
朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“祷告上帝，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。”
妈妈打断她说：“朱莉叶，你为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢？”
朱莉叶回答说：“因为我在地理考卷上是这么写的。”
NOTE
bedtime prayers睡前祷告
Make Naples the capital of Italy让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧
Make + do sth是使什么什么怎么样的意思
A mobile phone call
A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that
she was out of credit; she instructed her son - to use his own phone to
pass across an urgent message to daddy who is at site.
After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that it was a
lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on
the mobile. (Women!!) She waited impatiently for her husband to return from
site, immediately she sighted him, she gave him a very hot slap, while the
man was trying to ask why? She repeated the slap, people from neighborhood
rushed around to know the cause of this.
The man asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he
called, junior said "the number u are Trying To call Is not Reachable At
The Moment. Pls Try Again Later".
Speech-recognition software
At a recent Sacramento PC User's Group meeting, a company was demonstrating
its latest speech-recognition software.
A representative from the company was just about ready to start the demonstration and asked everyone in the room to quiet down.
Just then someone in the back of the room yelled,
"Format C: Return."
Someone else chimed in (插嘴）:
"Yes, Return"
Unfortunately, the software worked.
80 years old
An 80-year-old woman married an 85-year-old man. After about 6 months together the woman wasn't feeling well and she went to her doctor. The doctor examined and said, "Congratulations Mrs. Jones, you're going to be a mother."
"Get serious Doctor, I'm 80."
"I know," said the Doctor, "This morning I would have said it was impossible, but this afternoon you are a medical miracle."
"I'll be *ed," she replied and stormed out of the office. She walked down the hall and around the corner to where the telephones were. In a rage, she dialed her husband.
"Hello" she heard in his familiar halting voice. She screamed, "You rotten son of a *. You got me pregnant!"
There was a pause on the line. Finally her husband answered "Who's calling please?"
Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
逻辑推理
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？” 一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？” 哈哈 又能学习了啊 行，没汉语你肯定看不懂吧 没汉语?那肯定是看不懂啊
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